Response to “10 Things Pastors Absolutely HATE to Admit Publicly”

I recently read this column in Church Leaders. ( I’m not sure that I am really qualified to comment on this as I was only a “pastor” for five years. Actually, I was a church planter. I planted a Vineyard church in a growing suburban area of eastern Iowa. I’m not sure that I was really “called” to be a pastor. My gifting and passion really was teaching, but in the modern American version of church the best opportunity to express that gift is in pastoral ministry. Never the less, I really could identify with many of the author’s sentiments. So here is my take on it.

  1. We take it personally when you leave the church. Yes and amen. I was deeply committed to seeing the church thrive, but American churches are deeply competitive and consumer oriented. Too many church goers have a consumer mentality and shy away from relationships and commitment. It is especially difficult for new church plants without denominational or sending church support to compete with mega churches. We didn’t get much help. I spent four years without a paycheck. The Vineyard helps very few church plants. We gave more to the Association than they gave to us. The church that “sent” us out gave lip service to church planting, but the pastor was greedy. He eventually resigned from ministry because he was discovered to be embezzling donations.
  2. We feel pressure to perform week after week. I never really felt this pressure. I loved teaching, studying and preparing. I felt confident in my teaching/ preaching skills to the point that I never worried about it.
  3. We struggle with getting our worth from ministry. This was probably my biggest problem.
  4. We regularly think about quitting. Not really. Most of the time I loved what I was doing. I developed strong relationships that exist to this day and I know that I was used to help many people to grow in their walk with Christ.
  5. We say we are transparent—it’s actually opaque. I think I crossed the line too many times. We were deeply wounded by people that we thought we could trust.
  6. We measure ourselves by the numbers. Yes, especially in a church planting movement like the Vineyard. While I was serving we attended a number of church growth conferences and our movement placed heavy emphasis on church growth. Yes, Jesus wants a big church. But, He also wants a mature church and He wants His people to be in committed communion/ community. There was not much emphasis placed on the later. Success and support was measured and received based on numbers. I firmly believe that the American church would be stronger if there were fewer mega churches and more small churches characterized by greater commitment and maturity.
  7. We spend more time discouraged than encouraged. Most of the time this was not true for me as our church was growing in maturity, community and numbers for about five years (We were running about 75 in attendance and almost half were in one of several weekly home groups). We were doing relatively well compared to most church plants which fail before five years. Ours blew up over a short time span over a discipline issue. I made the mistake of following the biblical plan of church discipline by dis-fellowshipping a gossip after repeated warnings. My district overseer warned me not to do it. He was right from a strictly worldly business perspective. I should have done it sooner as the damage was irreparable by the time I did it. It wasn’t discouraging until the end. I once had a rude old Methodist pastor ask me, “Why did your church fail?” I wanted to smack him. I told him it wasn’t my church. Those who were blessed by our ministry do not consider it a failure.
  8. We worry about what you think. What, me worry? I should have been more sensitive to what people were thinking.
  9. We struggle with competition and jealousy. Oh yeah. I learned that it wasn’t about me.
  10. We feel like we failed you more than we helped you. No, I know I helped them.


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